January is Now

January is the time that we take stock. Usually, the emphasis is on the future: resolutions, goal-setting, starting anew. But it’s important to remember that Janus, the Roman God for whom January is named, has two faces. Janus is the God of beginnings, but his dominion also includes endings, ambivalence and transitions. Janus is looking forward and looking back, simultaneously, and with equal intensity. So we could conclude that more than commenting on the past or the future, the image of Janus is about finding balance in the present moment.

This January, I am encouraging myself to sit in the now. I am going to concentrate not on looking forward, nor looking back, but instead on the suspense between the two.

This is an uncomfortable thing to ask of myself. In the past, I have usually understood “now” as a space between where I was and where I want to be. The now was a transition to be conquered as quickly as possible, to be lived like a determined dash through a creepy subway tunnel. I have spent my life working hard to get where I am going…and where I am going is never where I am.

Does this sound familiar?

When I am unsure about where I am going, I have been known to set my focus on the brightest light, the loudest noise, and head toward it as quickly as possible. This method works sometimes, but I have occasionally found myself in a deeper mess. Sometimes, the brightest light is attached to an oncoming train!

Pushing through now to get to what’s to come may not always be the best option. I invite everybody to sit in suspense with me this January. Stay in the tunnel, in the dark. Listen to the sounds that arrive. Resist the urge to act until you are sure that you have your bearings. I believe that if we wait for our eyes and ears to adjust to the darkness, we will begin to see that there are tiny glimmers of light worth our consideration, and they are all around us. 

Let’s talk: how do you find ways to live in the moment?